Xmas and train

It’s been sometime since I’ve updated my blog. Apologies for that.

First of all, best wishes for the new year and I hope you all had a nice Christmas.

My job is going fine. It has been a steep learning curve but after settling in, I’m feeling rather comfortable at it. I only hope they are going to keep me as this is still a temp job. The work itself is not too difficult if you know how to use the tools provided.

Justus seems to be very close on moving out. Next week he is going to visit them again to talk about the specific care he needs when he moves to Leiden. It seems they got a room for him available. We’re all looking forward to this. Don’t get me wrong. He’s a great kid and we like having him around but it’s also a good opportunity for him to learn and take care of himself. After all, we will not be around for ever and he has to learn at some point. For his exams at Uni, he got very good points and we’re all very proud at him.

Coming Friday it will be his 21st birthday. That’s quite a milestone. Not sure how to celebrate this yet.

For Christmas we did a few presents. It was not very much this year due to the lesser income but we all did get a few nice things.

xmas presents

I did get a cupcake maker which made tiny little cupcakes, very pleased with that.

mini cupcakes

I did colour the icing with red and green to stay in the holiday spirit and they came out very nice. When Justus noticed the tray with cakes, the amount went down rather quickly.

During this period I’ve had two long weekends which was very nice.

However, something happened which was not very nice.

The second of January, I had to work again after the holidays and all went well. I got on the train at half past six and was looking forward for my cup of tea on my arrival home. Lee always makes me tea when I’m home. He’s a very good houseband. About 10 minutes before arrival all of a sudden a big bang and the train start shaking all over the place. I’m in the front carriage and I do heard the scraping of metal going from front to back under the train. We’re stopping but during this time it feels like we’re going to derail. I’m holding myself on to the chair in front and feel the blood rushing to my head. FFS, what on earth was that?

Now we have stopped, I’m thinking about the other trains also using the tracks. If we’re not moving, other trains may run into us. I know it’s a silly thought as of course there is straight away an alarm going off to warn other traffic, but it still feels unsettling. It takes about 20 to 30 minutes for the conductor to come in our carriage to tell us they’ve hit a person on the track and that it is going to take a bit of time before we can move on. He’s asking us if we’re OK. Us? How are you feeling? The poor man was rather shaky and pale looking. I felt sorry for him. This guy had to go out after the crash to check what they’ve hit. I’m glad I’m not in his shoes.

For the coming 2 hours we have to stay in the train. My end station is not even ten minutes away. Luckily the conductor is nice enough to guide us to a part of the train where we are allowed to smoke and I’ve got a new pack of cigarettes in my bag. I have warned Lee that I will be home late and what has happened by texting him. I also warned him, I can not stay online as my phone battery does not have enough life in it for that. I want to keep some spare for emergencies.

During this long wait there is not much information coming to us about what is happening. It’s female and still alive, that’s about it. Was it an accident or a suicide attempt? How bad is it? We don’t know. Finally just before 9 we are being moved to another train to continue our journey. We’re being dropped off at the next station. As this is temp solution, this train is not going to continue and we have to find other platform to continue. I’m walking to my normal platform and the train will leave in about 20 minutes, from then it is only 5 minutes to arrival.

A train arrives at my platform but this is not the one I can take. On the side of the train it has complete different city announced. The accident probably has thrown the whole schedule. The train is waiting for over 15 minutes and then leaves. From that moment I realise this was the train I needed. I am tired, cold and feeling miserable by now. It’s 9.30 in the evening and almost time to go to bed. I haven’t eaten yet and I need to chill out for a bit. I decided to call Lee and ask him to pick me up from the station. From there we drive to the next station to pick up my bike. I’m biking home (that only takes less then 10 minutes). On arrival I sit on the settee for a bit and have my cup of tea, which it rather strong tasting by now. I need something warm though. After that I do bung in some chips in the fryer, I do need to eat in spite of not feeling that hungry. One can of beer becomes two and then three. It’s past midnight when we are going to sleep. I have to get up in the morning again to go tot work.

The coming days this event has been going through my head and my train travels are no longer relaxed anymore. Every time the train makes a sudden move, I’m at the top of my nerves. On Friday I did receive some intel that the woman on the track indeed was attempting suicide but chickened out at the last moment.

I’m sorry to say that I felt oh, so angry at that moment. I hope you will never experience this kind of event as it makes you feel extremely insecure and in spite of the fact it only gives you a bit of inconvenience, (nothing really bad happened to you) it still has a bigger impact on you than you want to acknowledge.

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